She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
