I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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