This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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