I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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