..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
