It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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