??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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