They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
3pm strippers are depressing
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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