I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
