God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
