Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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