Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?

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(480): View more from Arizona

I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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(+43): View more from

my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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(917): View more from New York City

i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He’s older

(803): View more from South Carolina

Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?

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