He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
FUCK WHALES
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize