I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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