Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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