Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His nipple licking is glorious
please don't ironically join a cult
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