I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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