I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just had sex on a roof
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
