i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dick very happy bro
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize