If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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