I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize