plz talk dirty to me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
