Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
