Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
