I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Do you still have your period?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
