He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
