I didn't shave. On purpose
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
