Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
