I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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