just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
