Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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