Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I cut my penus on the lid.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
