you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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