I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
