it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
