I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
