Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
