You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
