her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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