One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
