We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
