YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
