I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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