I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
