I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
