yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
