my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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