she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
