shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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