I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ok first of all what the fuck
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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