I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
