forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
